Gloomy Sky at Mount Fuji

It's a pine forest at Mount Fuji.
The sky was clear at first and full of shine then it became cloudy, we almost get light rain...
Unfortunately, we couldn't reach Step 5 at Mount Fuji due to traffic at the weekend.
Well, it's not my point. I promise to write often and update my last trip. Since I already share my trips on my tumblr, I decided to make "Story of the Picture" from the photo that taken from my trip.

So this is the story...
Lately I realize, I almost lost my "me" side. Like the
I used to write and sketch often before.
I like to write a story since elementary school back then, I write detective story, family story and love story and poem sometimes. Until my Senior high school time, I made a novel called Journey to the Past and I still revised them during my College years.
Last year, before I got a job I also still write a short story about A Couple Friend : Hiara and Fabian.
Somehow, I still write but I think I lost my inspiration. Most of the time I don't know what to write.
Well, I miss the old me, when it's easy to write a poem in a beautiful language, or just write a story about something that I like.

I also realize, I became far from my dream become designer. I rarely sketch, I also lack of inspiration. Though now I still regularly design my own cloth.

I become a person with less leisure time. Most of my free day I used for rest and do some exercise so my body can be fit.

But I lost my inspiration, I lost my reason to write and sketch. Like those gloomy sky that full of cloud that block the sunshine. This now "thingy" blocked me from "My Old Me". I can't say I don't like what I've done right now. I'm happy, I travel more, I learn and I work to something that at least my other passion. But just, there's an empty room that I need to fill out.

Hopefully I can fill it the soonest.
Stay cheers and move forward.

Irin

Hey my little brother

It should be hard living just two of you there...
I'm sorry.. I try to done it fast as I can
So you two, aren't bothering about how to struggle with a little money there

Hey my little brother,
I know you act like you never care... but you're so sensitive inside
I'm going away from you and Mom to get the best for our family...
To get what's our family deserve..
Don't bother about how you and mom live tomorrow... how your college tomorrow..
It's my job...
You just need to be serious in school
Be a best as you can do and me too here
Be patient ya... I'm not smart as you, I need more little time again..

I Love You, Mom and Fikri and also Echa

Nightmare

I know.. it's morning already 1.35 AM. But I still can't sleep. I have 'jogging date' in the 6 AM and I hope I can keep my promise. 

It's about my thesis! That's why these several day I have insomnia...

From beginning I said to myself, you should make it with your interest topic, and then I did it on my seminar. I made it with the title "Creative Processes in the Production of Website Fashionesedaily" using media ethnography method.

I really have a big passion in fashion, that's why I choose it. Then I met the founder of The Daily Media, a company who held Fashionese Daily(FD) and also the Editor of FD. But unfortunately, they can't help me. And then I called Detik.com (And it means I broke my promise to myself to make my thesis with fashion topic) . My proposal is in processes to be accepted or rejected. May be on next Monday I'll call them again to follow up. 

I'm now on my pessimistic point, I have no idea for my thesis. I thought over and over again.. how to solve this problem.  My Mom asked me to done my undergraduate study on this midyear. Then my dad asked me the same demand. Yes I called it demand. It's just three months again to done it and I have nothing on my hand :(

Oh God, I need your guidance.. please help me... I want my undergraduate study finish soon. I know my Dad need more money to finance my brother. He'll be on undergraduate study this year. I believe in You, God..

I just need to pray, Detik accept my proposal or make a new thesis proposal and after that I need to move fast. Please help me to make a miracle happen. I trust You.. Amiin

Long Time No Post, this is story about how I miss My Class

It's been a long time ago..

When things get rushed... I've no time to write again.. maybe sometimes i have a little time

but I should spend it with people around me...

This is last phase of my campus time..

I'll miss my classmate.. study w/ them.. or just have a chit chat...

this people from class B of Management Communication 2007, I'll mention it one by one :

1. Adjie Widyawan (Head Class of Mankom B)
2. Astrid Daniati
3. Raisa Nurul (always be my classmate from the first time)
4. Cynthia Dwiyana
5. Kinanti Desyva
6. Lugaz Priya
7. Nurul Ayudia
8. Paramitha Ayu Palupi
9. Qisthina Chairani
10. Fury Setiawati
11. Afrizal
12. Rahmat Hidayat
13. Erga Arlingga
14. Zaki A. Muhsy
15. Kartika Putri
16. Attiina Restillahia
17. Hegar Chataling
18. Anita Noor Aprilia
19. Amaliyah Hidayah
20. Tri Ramadhani
21. Aditama Gunawan
22. Adreani Fitria Tamara
23. Nanda Ayu
24. Yulviana Gitria Putri
25. Aji Hendratmojo
26. Arnie Mellawatie
27. Intan Permata Asih
28. Andri Safari
29. R. Yogie Prawira

They're such a great people who've been accompany me through this 2 years and more..

I miss that class since last semester when we've started our class separately by our concentration

I remember how we yell each other.. how we called "engkong 76", "kucluk","bundo","jigon"*even he has a short haircut now*,"tiche", "Lugaz priyakah?", "Mojo", "Burubah","fesyenebel","pipin","bangkum"...

I remember how we hate MTV subject... and some of our lectures.. Mr. A to Z.. how we yell him behind

or when we flattered Mrs. R, she's so funny.. how we alternately skip her class...

Such a great things we have... we ran we fell we stood up again...

there always be a many stories to tell when we meet again someday...

we have ours family... child... successful job... and our dreams come true...

Amiin...

Living a Room of Mine

I'm typical of easy going girl,, but sometimes I love spending my time alone in my room,, doing something myself,,

I usually wash my clothes in the morning while I'm cooking or just making a cup of coffee

i play my WinAmp playlist or just watch News TV on my country (*even sometimes i didn't know the case ^^)

cleaning my room

make over the room or just make over some of my costume make it D-I-Y things

the part I love most is,, browsing some good interior design things or fashion inspiration

or just make a statement with twitter

My Wish this Morning

I woke up not too early as usual,, and after pray I turned on my Aira(my notebook's name) then I'm searching for some fashion inspirations,,

then I opened http://stylebubble.typepad.com/ 

I really envy Susie,, everyday she could be struggling with everything she likes. Everyday she can take a picture of some unique fashion things. She has many accesses to the couture runway. She could mix and match her own style without anyone insult her BUT exactly appreciates what she does as art of fashion.

Then I asked to God,"God, if I could request for my future life,, I want to be not just something but big thing in fashion industries which made me have many accesses to runways,, I want to have an autonomy of my own fashion,, I don't want to be the next Susie or Diana Rikasari,, I want to be me with my freedom to write my thought about fashion and do my fashion pleasure,, and I hope I can be everybody's influence in the way to get dressed "

Humm,, seems so drama,, but that's what I want,, and might many girls's want

UNWELL

That's my yesterday's photo on campus. I was using my new denim padded blazer, home-made blouse, LEA Blue label jeans, white oxford shoes, and new purple ring.

Yesterday i felt a 'lil bit dizzy in my head and today I'm sick, I've got fever and my tounge colored white ,, I hope everything will be alright,,

I planned to see a doctor after maghrib but see now the weather is rainy,, huhu,, whatever with the matter, I just wanna get well soon,,

Get well soon irinasay!

From Skirt to Top and My Thought About Fashion

what I wore:

flowery skirt as a top

unbranded brown outer

animal printed belt

snake skinned bag

bebe worn black jeans

symbolize sandal

during my saving and diet month,,

yesterday two person said i look slimmer

i didn't know that's the fact or just "really look like"

whatever,, I'm so happy

I usually use over-sized clothe cause I really comfortable but now,, after my body became a bigger(during my KKN period) and sure i'ts the biggest size of my body ever

then I thought it's better to wear a fitted clothe (okay it's fitted NOT tight)

haha may be I'm a media victim whose defining beauty is slim,,

whatever people said,, I just really feel uncomfortable to move when my body become bigger

and sometimes i really really UNCOMFORTABLE when people said caring about fashion just means nothing, capitalism victim, unstable teen,, whatever to you,,

to me fashion means art,, i love made my own fashion,, i see them as my creation the same as photographer see their photo,, movie maker see their movie,, or artist see their paint,,

that's my pleasure doing like that because since I'm a little girl I saw my Mom made her and my clothes,, I saw her happy to give me her work,,

Beginning of 2010

on 29 December, 2009, in the Morning my Mom sent me a sms she said my GrandPa passed away,, so with no plan i back to Jember,, I mean i back to Bondowoso, where my Grand Parent live,,

this turn of the year, i didn't make any goal like used to,, 'cause i thought that there are still many things that have not reached from "my self goals respect 2009" so I decided to have it done in 2010,,

and now,,, i must pass this rush week with examinations and assignments from today, 11 January to 15 January then,,, I should go to Kuningan on 15 January for KKN,,, what the hell week,, pffiuhh,,

X mas Eve 2009

we had a row yesterday,, again!

but today as he promised to me Santa Claus's coming,,

firstly he came to repaired my cable antenna

but there's some trouble,,

then I complained i can't see TV on Xmas eve,,

then suddenly he put outside two cans of A&W, Cadbury dairy milk assortment,, and Perahu Kertas with its ribbon,, and also nail clipper

He said those were my x mas gift,,

I really surprised,,

two nights before I asked him to warned Santa Clause for giving me a great surprise

And he did it well,,

thank you Rizka,,

MERRY X MAS EVERYBODY

(to those who celebrate)

these are the photo how we celebrate x mas eve 2009

Honey, thank you for cheering me up,,

LOVE YOU

p.s : i'm wearing my new outer

Janji untuk Positif

Mind power atau apalah itu,,

bahasa ilmiahnya gue ngga' paham,,

tapi gue berusaha nerapin hal itu,,

mungkin lebih sederhananya disebut positive thinking,,

Gue orang yang gampang panik,, suka parno,, dan suka membesar-besarkan masalah

dan sekarang (dengan dibantu Yulviana Gitria Putri) gue berjanji untuk menerapkan positive thinking,,

Gue yakin gue bisa nerapin apa itu mind power dalam diri gue sendiri,,

seperti hari ini,, gw jadi PJ Materi,,

"Gue yakin POSTER hari ini akan berjalan lancar,,

komunikasi antar divisinya berjalan lancar,,

Pak Agus sama Pak Rachman bisa dateng tepat waktu,,

Materi yang disampein nyampe ke peserta POSTER

dan hari ini akan menjadi hari yang menyenangkan untuk semuanya!"

Amien,,

See, gue berusaha menghilangkan kata "nggak" dalam kalimat tadi,, karena Yulvi sama JT bilang kalo kata "nggak" seperti "hari ini Poster nggak akan ada masalah" justru bakal nimbulin efek sebaliknya di kepala kita,, kita bakal mikirin sisi negatifnya mulu,,

Semangat semuanya,, positive thinking selalu,,

P.S: Akan ada pak Djalaludin Rakhmat di Poster Passion 2009,, dia juga bakalan sedikit berbagi tentang mind power

Thank You for Anonym

several months ago I made a poem by myself and i posted it on my wordpress blog,,

and today after 8 months(or might be more) i open my wordpress blog, i've got one comment on my posting titled "Bimbang",,

"Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.

No one you can save that can’t be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you"

i don't know who you are but thanks,, now I know how it feels,,

pain always come to our life,,

but suffering is optional,,

and I know i have no need to suffer

keep smile guys!

Rush Week

pffiuh,,

it's a hard week,, full of assignment and mid test,, i hope i can pass this week faster,,

It's a teribble Monday I've got two mid test,, Audit Komunikasi and MPK 1

For Tuesday i've got ASI(Analisis Sistem Informasi) mid test

and today I have one mid test,, Manajemen Pemasaran a.k.a Mansar,, Mansar's assignment deadline,, TKI take home exam

Tomorrow i have PIM mid test

For Friday i have KAP mid test

And the super last Saturday I have MBM mid test deadline with a damn wonderful question!

haha,, I can't see my quality time this week,, T.T

lost my handphone

This morning I lost my new W508. My father bought me as a birthday present,, sure I'll buy the same W508,, I Promise,, I'm very sad,, but I hope the new owner can take care of it better than me,,

Good bye Abu-abu,,

my childhood

If somebody asked me,"If you could comeback to past, where and when would you go?" and I'll answer,"Something in the past to me just called memories,, it will be special if we just can reach them again in our imagination,, so I won't back!" and when somebody asked me"what the best part of my life?" Sure I'll answer,"everyday is the best part of my life, when i'm glad, i'm fall, then I get up,, "

But i have a moment that i really never forget it in the past. In early 90's, it just three of us, me, Mom and Dad,, we were in Sydney. Everything wasn't just fine but perfect! We're happy family,, and then I've got my baby brother named Ahmad Reza Zulfi there,, I have my parent completely home,, and here are some pictures from my childhood,, but it wasn't in Sydney,, I'm not scan it yet but those photos can show me how lucky I am,,

me

me and mom in her graduation


me and and grand ma

me and dad

When I just go to bed,,

i hate your recent activities,, it's like you have your own world and I can't touch it,, i'm not the part of it,,
i knew that you've explained me well,, but it didn't make me feel better,,
everything just messed up in my head

i think i need to go,, maybe this weekend i want to go to Bandung by myself,,
i need to be alone,,

PS : i'm already miss you

Aku Membunuhnya

Aku membunuhnya! aku telah membunuhnya dalam anganku, aku menghabisi perasaan itu hingga tak bersisa tanpa membiarkannya berkembang lebih jauh. Yang aku tahu, aku punya 'tangan' yang bisa aku genggam erat sekarang. Dan semoga, kematiannya tidak sia-sia.

Aku percaya keputusan ini sudah tepat. Biar waktu yang berbicara sendiri nantinya. Aku hanya mengikuti alur.

selamat tinggal cinta,,
selamat datang sayang,,

30.06.09

He said it started from Sambolo,,
Acid said there was something different from deadline MTV
Other said it started from trip to Bogor

and I just said,, i feel different from KA,,
i'm just insensitive,,
but now, i'm glad to have you,,

When I Fall for You

Samar aku melihatmu mengulurkan tangan begitu lama
Aku hanya termangu dan melihatnya
Aku terlalu lemah untuk memercayai itu nyata
Terlalu sadar jiwaku bahwa kamu sekedar impian

Aku tak punya daya sekuat itu untuk berlari
lalu kamu tinggalkan
Aku tak mampu menerka arah mata angin
jika kamu nantinya membiarkanku tersesat

Lama aku terpaku
dan,, Ya!,, hatiku benar
itu hanya sekedar Fatamorgana

tapi gw g gitu aja putus asa,, aku yakin kali Dia mengabulkan doaku,, Amien,, gw percaya dan sangat percaya,, dan gw terus berdoa semoga itu bukan fatamorgana seperti yg gw sangka sekarang,,

Syuting FTV day one

undone yet,, out of my prediction,, wasting time,, and disappointed me so much,,
but,, at least i can take a picture with Rover which is one of Indri's cat,,

here are the picts,,

jadi inget kisah ngelempar kucing saat masih balita,, konon,, when i was a child,, i threw my cousin's cat to the pond,, the cat still alive at that time but when he saw me they run away.

if he could scream out loud he should say,"hey look that girl! she's a monster! Ran away for your life!!!"

haha,, sure i don't like a cat,, if I could choose a pet, i prefer to adopt a dog or a lion than a cat. But Rover is an exception,, gue masih tetep g suka kucing tapi,, yang satu ini lucu banget,, matanya bulet,, hehe,, liat tuh kepalanya aja enak banget nempel ditelapak tangan gw,,,

hari ini melelahkan,, menyebalkan memang, seenggaknya dapet pelajaran gimana me-manage sebuah produksi FTV dengan talent dan crew yang belom 'pro'

A Question for My Self

my outfits today goes to campus were ouvalresearch tee, bebe jeans, customize bag, and grandma blouse as outer

finally after long time ago, i touched up my photo! I just stick some swirl pattern,, and put a diffuse glow effect then put my name on it

-take time to realize that your warmth crashing down on me-
-take time to realize-
-r.e.a.l.i.z.e-
i'm happy, i'm glad, i'm feeling comfort
just one question i wanna ask my self,,

is that LOVE?